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Post by Carson on Nov 14, 2020 4:00:04 GMT
Am I doing this right I’m so confused lol
UPDATE I THINK I FIGURED THIS OUT
Update pt 2: WHAT IS MY THUMBNAIL IN THAT FIRST VID LMAO BYEEE
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Post by Carson on Nov 14, 2020 4:04:56 GMT
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Post by Carson on Nov 14, 2020 6:46:03 GMT
Night one has been completed! For the most part...I'm having so much fun already and I just know that this is going to be an amazing experience! I have so much to say!!!!I'm going to start out by ranking each tribe member based on nothing but first impressions. These are subject to change because I've not called anyone personally but I feel like I've talked to everyone substantially to the point where I can trust my gut with what I say. #1 The person I got the best vibes from tonight was Zaid. Zaid is a big character, I can tell, but I think when push comes to shove, this dude is going to be a huge asset to my game. Out of all my conversations with my tribe tonight, him and I had the "deepest" chat. He mentioned in his intro video that he was worried about his perception due to his skin color, and I reassured him that he is loved and cherished. It's a shame what our society has done to BIPOC and I'm sick of it, and skin color is irrelevant in this game so I wanted him to know that. (While we're at it, BLM!) <3 Also, we talked about our identities and religions, which was fascinating to me bc we really said "fuck small talk"! He was the first person to ask me to call tomorrow 1 on 1 and I just get really good vibes from him, I know he's great at communicating but I don't mind that because I want to work with people who I know will be able to protect me through their threatening status as social players! Also I stan his singing. I shared my TikTok with him and he shared his music with me and it was LEGENDARYYYY! He's such a cool dude.#2 The number two spot goes to Leanna. I really, really liked talking with Leanna tonight, she's on the younger side which is nice because I can relate to her more, and she's so funny. When our tribe call would get awkwardly silent, her and I would make fun of it and joke. I love someone who doesn't give a fuck to just make light of random situations- I seek that in friendships during my day to day life. The only reason I don't have Leanna as #1 is because I find her to be the most threatening out of everyone else on my tribe, and I know she's going around getting buddy buddy with everyone. As I said with Zaid, I don't have any qualms about that, I WANT my allies to be super social, but I just don't know if I can trust that I'll always be her closest ally in this game. Either way though, she's super comical and I dig that! I'm jealous of all her fans cause I don't have any LMAOOO but it's fine, I'm new! But yeah, homegirl is so similar to me, like she's bi and christian and im gay and christian so that's awesome to relate to. She thought I was 20/21 and like....no honey. HAHAHAHA! #3 Coming after Leanna, we have Ethan. What I love about Ethan is he socializes in a way that is so distinct and different from everyone else on the tribe, and I appreciate that. He's someone who will send long detailed paragraphs, versus 7 lines of text. We didn't talk as much tonight as I did with Leanna and Zaid but that's ok because he's a busy boi. The stuff we *did* talk about was super fun though. We laughed at the fact that we're both on Grindr and Tinder and how shitty those apps are. I see him as an older, more mature version of me, and that's so rad! I told him I'd be seeking dating advice in the future LOL! But yeah, Ethan and I are going to get along just great and I'm really hyped he's on my tribe. He seems like a calmer player, someone who can cool me down when I'm emotional. We are also both addicted to Starbucks so we can really bond over that and get close through our caffeine problems. Cheers to wasting our money every day on coffee. #4 Marissa is who I'm going to give the #4 spot to. I know this is sad because she has a lot of fans out there, but I think out of the entire tribe, I got the least-good vibes from her while tribe-calling. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt because it's night 1 and I barely know her, and she was very very polite to me in text after the tribe call, but out of the whole group, I think I talked to her least in terms of number of texts. I got left on read for a large majority of the night. But once again, she left me on read bc we were tribe calling, and was pretty active afterwards. She also asked to call me tomorrow, which Manik and Ethan haven't really done, so there's that. I'm gonna keep hope alive (Shoutout to russell hantz even tho he's a troll), and if we lose, she's not the first person I'd come for, but we will see. I don't want to rush any opinions, slow and steady wins the race and I'm literally just going off gut feelings, I'm sure these rankings will probably change a ton within 24 hours given how messy I can be sometimes. #5 Ranking at the bottom of this list we have Manik. Manik seems like a bit of a wildcard to me. His responses were really short and it seemed like he didn't *love* talking to me, but that might be night 1 jitters, not sure. Like Marissa, I want to offer him the benefit of the doubt because you really can't get to know someone in only a few hours through a tribe call. I just feel like him and I don't have a ton in common. The only thing I can think of is that we both like gaming, but even then, the games we both play don't really line up. With all of this in mind, he does seem like a really chill dude, so even though our personalities are pretty much opposite, maybe it'll be an "opposites attract" type of scenario. Orrrrr maybe it'll be like water and oil. Who knows! My motto for 2020 is "fuck it" and I'm entering this season with an open-minded approach to everything. I need to develop a close bond with him anyways because you never know what might happen in this game, and on top of that, I am in need of more friends LMAOOOO college has sucked!
All in all, I really, really like this group! I don't want to see us lose because I genuinely could see myself working with every person on this tribe in some way. I'm ready to start the immunity challenge and get going. This is going to be an awesome rollercoaster of a game and I'm so so so grateful that I was chosen to compete. It means the world to such big survivor fans like myself. It's all love, to whoever is reading this pls know you're an icon and the world revolves around acoustic pop, caffeine, and xbox.
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Post by Jackie on Nov 14, 2020 17:05:02 GMT
“I’m not a cannibal. I promise I’m not.” <3
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Post by Erica on Nov 14, 2020 17:44:47 GMT
You are soososososo perfect and I love your political rants PERIOD. Go get 'em legend
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Post by Carson on Nov 15, 2020 7:40:20 GMT
We are officially done with night two, and MAN am I anxious!Today was quite the intriguing set of events, I literally went through a rollercoaster of emotions and I'm here to tell y'all about them! My thoughts tonight are most likelyyyyy going to be all over the place and that's because I don't feel like I have enough tea to record a video conf but I also feel like I still have some inch resting stuff to spill, let's hop right into it!! My overall mood today can best be described as nervously-optimistic. The game has been going pretty slow, which is weird to me because it's the marooning to a pretty large ORG, you'd think more would be happening from a strategic perspective. And that's why I'm a bit worried. I feel like something is happening on this tribe that I'm not a part of. Which is unfortunate, because I don't know what the pace of this game is supposed to be, like I'm not new to ORGs but I am new to this platform and that comes with its' (Did I use that apostrophe right? lol) own set of challenges and confusions. I want to be included in strategic game discussion, but I don't want to be the first one to make that move towards turning the conversation in that direction! The absolute last thing I need to be labeled as THIS EARLY ON is an overplayer, especially when I lit rally told y'all I want to be a "slow and steady wins the race" type competitor for this season!! At the same time, it's like... if those conversations are already happening, then I kind of have to step my foot down. But right now, I haven't done anything I regret so I'll take that as a personal victory. Like, I wouldn't say I've done anything too strong-handed. I play up a cocky character sometimes, but at the end of the day, I'm a nervous wreck. I'm really concerned, and I hate it. I own up to that, I'm a flawed dude. I KNOW it isn't smart to be paranoid this early so I'm trying my absolute hardest not to act on it but gawd is it difficult. Today I called every single person on my tribe which was a LOT. I had to take a few mental health breaks through the day, not because anything bad was happening but just because I wasn't getting enough fresh air, I was being a hermit in my stinky dorm room! WTF! I didn't eat at all until 5pm. I also couldn't sleep last night. Which is notttt good, I need to be better. But anyways. All of my calls were such different vibes, like IDEK what to make of everything. I guess I might as well talk about all of those face time chats in-depth so I'll do that next! In chronological order....1. Ethan was the first person who called me today, and I greatly enjoyed it, but this was my first time using a Skype call on a personal level and I got a bit scared!! But that's okayyyyy. I was SO mad at myself because I was trying to multi-task and text others while I was calling Ethan, and he picked up on it and asked me about it, and that made things a bit awkward, but I tried so so hard to smooth out the situation and apologize, and he said it didn't bug him that much. Whether he was telling the truth or not is soon to be found out. I said this yesterday but I see Ethan as an older version of myself, he calls himself "pure" which is funny cuz im a giant whore LMFAO but other than that we're sooo similar in the sense that we're like upbeat positive gays and idk I fawking love chatting with him. He told me he had called Zaid and Leanna prior to me and that kind of came out of left field cuz I figured I was his first call, at this moment I didn't realize calls were already happening so much. That kicked me into the next gear and I made an agenda to call 1 on 1 with everyone on the tribe. Ethan and I just called again at 1am and had such a lighthearted discussion which was awesome sauce, he's a great dude! We vocalized how we're both not in any alliances and haven't been approached much about the game and I believe him. 2. Leanna was the second person who called me today, and I felt like the vibes were a bit off She was superrrr busy with a bunch of events so I don't really blame her, and she has also been getting headaches from being on her tech too much. Homegirl is dealing with a LOTTT so who am I to judge? The energy just wasn't there as much as I wished it was today though. I don't want to come across mean so I'm not gonna say anything else on that bc lives can get hectic BUT regardless of how our call went, Leanna is someone I still want to work with if I can make it happen. She's normally so great at talking with people and I can use that as a shield for my game, but all strategy aside I just want to befriend her like she is an ICONNN periodt! Queen looked like a goddess today in her makeup!!!!!!! POP OFF CHILE! I don't really know where her head is at though, it's not just Leanna but like everyone on this tribe is being cagey with what they truly think of each other and it's aggravating, I want the tea and I'm only getting water....And at some point, we won't be able to say "I like everyone they're so great hahaha" bc someone will have to get murdered by John's torch snuffer. 3. Marissa was the third person who called me today, and I loveddd our face time! She truly shines in 1 on 1 calls, which is so awesome to see because I did NOT get that vibe in our first group call. I prematurely judged her, and for that, I apologize. My thoughts on her greatly improved today, which I guess only makes things harder if we were to lose the challenge but I'm trying soooo hard not to think about Tribal cuz I stan Ealing so much and don't want to lose anyone, or get my own torch snuffed either. Marissa gives me major introvert vibes which I think is the CUTESTTT thing like I can tell she's a boss ass bitch but sometimes she's quiet too??? Imagine a woman who can do both! That's her! Also, one unique thing to point out is her Skype bio says "high risk, high reward", what does that even mean??? It's a bit alarming but I don't have any context so I know I shouldn't read into it a ton. Anyways, I'm really curious to see how our games intertwine. Ethan told me that the girls are worried it'll be a guys vs gals thing, which is so so so far from what I want to happen, I personally would never vote someone out simply bc of their gender, or race, or sexuality, or something like that, that's a difficult and touchy subject soooo let's move on!!! 4. Zaid was the fourth person who called me today, and this timing kinda bummed me out because I felt the best about him yesterday, and I still do to an extent, but at the same time, we waited until so long in the afternoon to truly talk personally 1:1. It doesn't matter too much at the end of the day, and when we did call, I felt it was great, but it only lasted like 20 minutes cuz after it hit 5pm, Ealing had a tribe call and we had to leave to join that since we were practicing for the first immunity challenge. This group of players is SO active and ugh I shouldn't be complaining this early on but LOL it's overwhelming!! I only say that bc there truly isn't an easy boot, at least in my opinion, which makes the early stages of the season that much harder. This is survivor though, I signed up for it and so I really shouldn't be talking about activity or stress as much as I do, if I'm annoying I apologize ope- One thing that I should mention that's a bit tricky to navigate is that I feel like I'm talking the least with Manik, but Zaid feels great about his relationship with Manik, so that's another roadblock for me. If we were to lose, my personal choice would be Manik going first, but how am I supposed to pitch that when Zaid loves him??? The only solution is for me to just chat with Manik even more and I'm going to work on that because he's hilarious, and also I'm MANIFESTING a win so we don't have to go to tribal. One more thing to note: Zaid filled me in that the treemail spells "ITCH" when you look at the first letter of each sentence, don't think it means anything but still want to note it. He prob told others too but idc, it's fascinating regardless! 5. Manik was the fifth person who called me today, and this wasn't until wayyyy late in the afternoon/night. Like Zaid, our call didn't last super long because it got cut off by another freaking tribe call LMAO bruh I'm getting blueballed left and right with this man and he aint even gay! I will say however that my thoughts on Manik strongly got better when we were able to chat more in depth today. He's such an intelligent and charismatic guy, and I really love how he's a fan of memes. The only qualms I have with Manik are that when texting, I don't feel like I get that same energy, and he also leaves me on read soooo much. Like I get nervous double texting ppl bc I don't want to come across desperate or needy or too social but most of the time it's people leaving me on read and not the other way around, which is really annoying. Like Manik told me his phone was dying after we attempted to call again, but then he was active on Skype? It's not hard to carry the conversation from call to text, especially when it ended prematurely. Maybe I'm being unrealistic, IDK. I don't want to be the type of competitor who is like "give me attention im the main character" like that is soooo cringy!! I just am really worried as I said earlier in this long ass essay and to calm me, I need more steady DMs to be flowing because it shows people value my communication, and vice versa. I wrote a TON tonight and omigod if you made it this far ily! The TL;DR is I'm just a bit scared with the challenge results coming out tomorrow and me being in absolutely zero alliances. Also, still haven't heard anythinggg about this season's twist. YIKES!!!! That being said, I've been really social but not about the game, and I'm genuinely hoping that doesn't come to bite me in the ass. Loving things otherwise though, someone PLSSSSS pray to the gay gawds that I don't start overplaying or acting on my paranoia.....
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Post by Hannah on Nov 15, 2020 17:14:08 GMT
hehe I love how much you write - keep it coming! <3
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Post by Carson on Nov 16, 2020 9:24:54 GMT
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Post by Carson on Nov 17, 2020 1:13:29 GMT
PLSSSSS IM LIT RALLY EVAPORATING WHY IS THIS SO MUCH HARDER THAN TXT ORGSSSS
It looks like Manik is getting 5-1ed, I don't know who he is voting for. I feel so shitty, I had to make an excuse to prematurely end our call because I don't want to say anything too harmful to him, at the end of the day he's a great guy and this is just a game. This is just what I've been hearing, and something very well could go down instead (that doesn't involve me). I know there is at *least* one idol out there on this tribe (hey Ethan), and Manik or Marissa could easily have one too. The thing is, why would someone try to make such a big move early on? Like I completely get it if it's Manik who has the idol, but I don't think it makes strategic sense for Marissa to use it this round if she truly does have one, when she could just boot Manik and then play the idol next round if we lose.
Zaid called me earlier and reiterated in a more descriptive way what he was conveying to me yesterday which is that he was considering siding with Manik/Marissa over Leanna/Ethan, and viewed him and I as swings. But I think it makes more logical sense to just 5-1 Manik and get Marissa on board with doing that. We NEED unity especially when I'm sure the other tribes are extra close with winning and we are now losing a member. UGH!! Marissa knows people want Manik out so I'm crossing my fingers that she goes along with that, she's a gem and SOOO sweet so like not trying to burn her.
I did my idol hunt and flopped because CHILE I AINT AB TO DO A 99 PIECE ROTATING JIGSAW FUCK THAT (love you, katie) id rather leanna do it next round and then if she's unsuccessful than I can sneak my way in there and potentially grab the idol? IDK. Like I said in my vid conf, I think there are definitely cons to receiving that much power, although it'd be nice to know it's in my possession and not someone else's.
I'm ready for this day to be over!! it has been a lot but we're almost there - 10:30 pm ahhhhhh!! I'm so nervous, first tribal jitters are happening hard.
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